


Nothing Like Old Times

by Frazi



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 11:47:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22146649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Frazi/pseuds/Frazi
Summary: What if Garrus and Shepard didn't have it like old times? What if it was darker, harder and way more sexy?
Relationships: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian
Comments: 4
Kudos: 57





	Nothing Like Old Times

“Where’s Garrus Vakarian?”

“Vakarian disappeared shortly after your death.”

“So none of my actual crew is available. How convenient for you.”

“You didn’t let me finish.” The holographic man let out another hiss of smoke. “He _is_ available. But perhaps it is better you let him be for now.”

My frown deepened. “Oh sure. Let the Turian I trust most in the galaxy be. It’ll be much easier to take Cerberus personnel who can shoot me in the back.”

“Funny you should mention trust.” The Illusive Man smirked. “They call him Archangel now. He’s the meanest, the most bad tempered space pirate in the Terminus. There’s a bounty on his head that would put Lazarus to shame.” His smirk widened as my mouth parted in shock. “He’s a smuggler, a slave trader and a murderer. Still want him on your crew?”

For moment I didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t idiotic enough to make something like that up. It was unthinkable to imagine that skinny, idealistic rookie was now…what had he called him? The Archangel?

A muscle tightened in my jaw. “He’s on my list of dossiers.”

“Miranda seemed to think he’d be an asset. Ace sniper, but I suggest you get Masani instead.”

“Where is he now?”

“On Omega, hunting down an old crewmate for treason.” (Sidonus ran away and joined a gang)

Fist clenched I had half a mind to take his advice and just let him be. Almost. Turning on my heel, I was about to leave when he spoke again. “Shepard?”

“I thought meeting Kaiden Alenko on Horizon would have made it clear.” Over my shoulder I saw him offer me a rather stiff version of a sympathetic smile. “The world has changed since you’ve been gone. Perhaps it’s best you start fresh.”

“This is still my story and I decide who gets to be my leading man.”

I walked out of the light and saw a familiar figure leaning the doorway, his arms crossed, the cap perched perfectly on his head. “I thought I was your leading man Shepard.”

I threw my arms around Joker and broke his ribs in two places.

Thank god some things were constant.

“We need Mordin.”

“I have to find Garrus.”

“Shepard, be reasonable.”

The two annoying ones trailed behind me as I exited Aria’s den. I counted to one hundred in my head. Backwards. By twos. If I didn’t find at least some of my old crew by the end of the week I’d end up killing them all. It still stung that Tali had refused me on Freedom’s Progress. I was still smarting from how Liara had slapped her shiny new Shadow Broker responsibilities in my face. To top it off Anderson had refused to divulge where my boyfriend was stationed – conveniently single now that I had gone and died on him. If I didn’t find Garrus soon, blood would spill. I couldn’t imagine entering an elevator without my trusty alien sidekicks to keep me company. It was just as well I hadn’t encountered one yet. It would have made me homicidal to have Miranda and Jacob on my flank.

“Oh look,” I chirped with excessive glee. “There’s an innocent looking Blue Suns merc. Perhaps he can tell us where they’re trying to off my best friend. Yoohoo. Mr. Blue Suns man.”

Jacob choked on a cough. “She is subtle.”

Miranda slapped a hand over her face. “Like a brick.” She sighed and pulled out her pistol. “And now he’s shooting at us.”

“EDI, I need a feed to that sniper across the bridge.”

“Unable to comply. The encryption on his omni-tool is nearly impenetrable. He is rather apt.”

“Yes! I know.” I snuck out of my cover and took out two more mercs as a concussive shot nearly took my head off. “Jezuz Vakarian!” I shouted. “Stop trying to kill me!”

“I don’t think he can hear you.”

I glared at Miranda across the expanse of the bridge as she ducked behind a similar pillar, her semi-automatic nearly smoking. “You think! Of course, he wouldn’t be shooting at me if you hadn’t resurrected me into the body of a Barbie doll!”

Miranda snorted as she emptied another round into their defenses. We took another palling on the bridge. Another step closer to Archangel. “We rebuilt you from a sack! I improvised okay?”

I had taken a knife to the long blond hair I’d woken up with, but the rest I couldn’t fix. And even though my facial features were the same my skin was newer, fresher, younger and goddammit I hadn’t had breasts like these since school! My years at N7 had taken most of my curves, but coming back from the dead had apparently restored a lot of youthful roundness to my frame. No wonder the council had been reluctant to give me back my specter status. I looked like a supermodel playing dress-up in Kevlar!

“I like it.” Jacob grinned and I rolled my eyes at him.

“EDI! You’re the finest AI Cerberus credits can buy. Hack me a channel to him or I’ll let Joker tell you all his knock-knock jokes.”

The AI was silent for a second. “All of them.”

“Every last one.”

“Unlocking advanced Cerberus protocols. Hacking you in now. Connection established.”

My back hit the last pillar as a sniper rifle bullet whizzed by my head. “Stop shooting at me you overgrown lizard!”

There was a crackle on the other end before a muffled and confused voice came through the forced comlink. “Who is this?”

“Your fairy godmother Vakarian. I swear if you try to shoot me one more time I’m going to call your father and tell him you fraternized with a human!”

“…..Shepard?”

“While a Krogan watched.”

There was momentary silence in which Miranda and Jacob watched me uneasily. When the next shot never came, I grinned and stepped out of my cover. A blue armored Turian rose from his perch high atop an overhead balcony and held up a hand. “You better get up here before they send the next wave. And it was not fraternizing. It was one coffee.”

“The Mako’s surveillance feeds could prove otherwise.” I jogged through the room and took two stairs at a time with Miranda and Jacob trailing behind me. Running into the balcony I grinned at the tall hunkering Turian sitting on the crate.

He set his rifle down and snorted before pulling off his helmet. “You were debating what seals Quarians would open if they farted inside their suits.”

Damn but he was a sight for sore eyes. Garrus had always been a good-looking Turian. But now, I saw how the years had changed him. For the better. “And you couldn’t stop laughing.”

“You set me up,” he retorted with a raised brow plate. “You know, Wrex still won’t speak to me.

“You did spray him with a mouth full of coffee.” I snickered and crossed my arms, sticking my hip out to regard him.

And there he was. In all his blue tattooed glory. It was then that I started to see what the Illusive Man had meant. The world changed without me. It was him, but he was Archangel. Taller, broader, sharper. Those blue eyes untrusting, darker. His frame languid, but coiled. Gone was the skinny Turian I had joked with. Enjoyed embarrassing to no end. Sparred with. Trained. Befriended.

Unlike Joker and Liara, I squelched the urge to hug him. What Alenko said on Horizon still smarted. “So Archangel?”

He watched me for a moment, his eyes flickering over the two silent humans behind me. “So Cerberus?”

I winced at his aim. It had improved. “It’s complicated.”

His chin jutted forward before he swung his leg off the crate and came to stand before me. “I like complicated.” He purred, his blue eyes dancing with mirth and my skin prickled at his drawl. “Wana help me kill a few more mercs? Then we can…fraternize.”

Suddenly he made the word so much more. Unbalanced, I frowned and followed him to the bridge as another offensice wave was launched. Damn but those merc just kept coming. Going from solider to tactician meant my sniper riffle smoked beside his. I saw the way his mouth curled into a challenging little smirk as we held the bridge, Miranda and Jacob picking off any who slipped through our defenses.

“New skills Shepard?”

“Shut up, I’m still me.”

“Doubt that.” He reloaded, aimed and took the head off of the Salarian.

I blinked at the way he shifted and shot another. Not a flinch. Not a single thought. Although, we worked in perfect sync, this wasn’t the Turian who watched my six. This was a dark, deadly hunkering of a pirate who laughed when the mechs lost a limb and began to crawl.

“Come on Shepard, get those little legs moving, we’ve got incoming!”

Gritting my teeth against the flare of anger, I rolled and crouched behind a fallen couch as Blue Suns mercs burst through the windows to our right. There was a frenzy of screaming and I saw one turn to ashes as Garrus switched to flame rounds, a hooting call of a sound working through the room. My eyes widened for a second as Garrus began to crow in victory. “Never saw me coming!”

So focused, completely caught in the headcount he seemed to be accumulating, Garrus moved from one wave to the next. I wondered if he was on stims or something, because there was no break in his armor, no pause, no end to his rampage.

There was an explosion and I grabbed his arm as the ground shook underneath our feet. “What the hell was that?”

“Door on the lower level.” Garrus steadied me, his head twisted towards the bridge, never losing sight of it.

“Shepard, we need to seal these bulkheads!” Miranda’s voice was already moving towards the breach.

“I’m coming.”

Hard, immovable talons caught my wrist and I blinked up startled to see Garrus watching me with intense blue eyes. His mandibles fluttered for a moment. The only indication that he was feeling something. “Stay.”

I stared up at him for a second. “I can’t send them down there alone.”

“But you can leave _me_ here alone?” The blue in his eyes hardened into ice. The glove dropped from my wrist. “So what else is new. Go then.”

Something uneasy fluttered in my stomach. There was a wrongness to him I couldn’t put my finger on. Where Alenko had just been bitter, Garrus was bruised. I had dealt with Kaiden’s mistrust and accusations with dogmatic fury, but Garrus - He’d been my friend. My pillar. My after mission wind-down. Was that really all gone now?

And here I thought we could hug it all out. I felt like Schrodinger’s kitty. Dead and not dead.

I touched my omni-tool. “Miranda, take Jacob; we’ll hold the fort here.”

There was a moment of silence before Miranda huffed. “Affirmative.”

Turning back to the bridge I stood beside him, my shoulder brushing his bicep. I wanted to sock him one and rib him out for being a bitch about it, but I didn’t. I might not know who he was now, but I’d known him enough. He was strung so tightly I was afraid if I pulled at him he’d break.

Like me.

Then the gunship swam into the window and we both stood there staring at the laughing Batarian giving us the bird. Damn, but I should have zapped him after all.

There was a fight. There was a rocket. But eventually Miranda and Jacob found us there frozen in shock. Maybe we’d moved by then. Either way, when the gunship launched the rocket, it was chaos.

Screams and curses tore through the room as Garrus dove into me at almost the same time I moved into him. The rocket slammed into the instinctive biotic barrier I had erected. Like swatting a fly with a toothpick.

And when the scarlet of my blood slowly crawled across the dirty floor and met the cobalt blue of his, our eyes met and held.

“Joker, prep the med-room! Damn you Shepard! Get him OFF her!”

“Easy Miranda!”

“Shoot his arm if he won’t let go!”

Half choking, half dead, Garrus opened his bleeding mouth and began to laugh.

I might have laughed too.

But we did not let go of each other until the world turned black.

Miranda told us later, she kicked us both unconscious.

*

“Shepard!”

When the Turian shot out of the bio-bed, I was already there catching him against me. His heavier frame nearly throwing me off my own feet, but Cerberus had given me a few upgrades that mattered. I healed fast and my reinforced bones locked. I took his added bulk easily before carefully pushing him back onto the med bay cot. “Easy there big guy. I’m right here.”

My panting, bandaged best friend sputtered and blinked in disorientation as his senses swam out from the murk of the painkillers and sedatives. When his blue eyes fell on me, his breath seemed to hitch in his chest. “Jane?”

I felt my mouth widen into a smile. No one had called me that in years. I loved the way he rolled the simple syllables of my name into an incredulous hope. There were not a lot of people who used my first name and Garrus never had. But it sounded nice in this new life. With all its unknowns and unfamiliar.

Maybe it could be like old times.

But Jane Shepard had never been particularly lucky.

When Garrus’ talons locked around my biceps, I only got to squeak before his face nearly crashed into mine. There was a moment of heartbreaking nuzzling against my nose, my forehead, my chin and then his plates drove against the contours of my mouth and changed _everything_.

Eye widening, I choked on anything I could have uttered as his long sinuous tongue pushed past the barriers of my lips in one confident thrust and branded the inside of my mouth with a flavor of the Turian that would haunt me forever. And then he was laughing, those blue eyes lit with a blue fire as he pulled away and lay back down on the bed. “Damn Shepard. I guess you are real.”

Agape and lips still glinting with his kiss, I stood there frozen in a grotesque little imitation of a mime. Both turned-on and enraged. I stared as he lounged there, smirking at me, a liquid shift to his muscles as if he hadn’t just smooched me into a stupor. As if half his face hadn’t just melted off.

This wasn’t my Garrus. This…hunkering asshole of a Turian…was the Archangel.

It took every ounce of my self-control not to smack or smooch the said Turian into non-existence. Jane Shepard is a lot of things, but speechless I am not. But that is exactly what he’d rendered me.

Mouth snapping shut audibly, I mustered what was left of my dignity and glared at the cock-sure alien pirate now inhibiting my best friend’s body. Arms crossing, I narrowed my green gaze until it honed into a penetrating laser. No one could resist it. So I was partially appeased when he cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. “Garrus.”

“Ah…yeah?”

“You better start talking or I swear to hell, I’m going to drag your half-scarred self out of that bed and into the cargo hold for a beat down.”

“Threatening physical harm? Didn’t you like talking about our tender feelings?” He drawled a husky, low pitch to his flanging voice that did strange things to my insides. “Hmmm, this is definitely new.”

“Is not!” Fuming and reduced to a fourteen year old with his admonishment, I had to resist the urge to kick him. “There is nothing tender about this! And will you please stop talking like that?”

I saw fangs when he grinned. “Like what?”

“Like you’re dripping sex! What the hell happened to you!?”

Languishing back, he propped his hands behind his fringe, completely aware of how the hard muscle and plates played in those big powerful arms and that amazingly shaped torso. “Lots of sex happened Shepard. It’s the scars. The females love them.”

It was then that I realized there was no way he was going to give me a straight answer. Whatever had changed with him was like an invisible barrier he wrapped around himself. Perhaps it was protective, maybe instinctive. I hoped it wasn’t permanent because I understood the appeal. The gorgeous Turian had suddenly found all his best assets and harnessed them into the most lethal weapons.

It just made me so sad. What happened to him?

If I spoke to him right now, it would only make things worse. Whatever solace I had hoped to find in a familiar face was now shot to hell. First Liara, then Tali and Garrus was the final nail in my coffin. Whatever I had hoped to salvage from my previous life was gone. Now I had to figure out what to do with the pieces of myself and what was left of my life.

The unjust fury was almost tearing, but I grit my teeth. “Get some rest. I’ll check on you later.”

I saw his blink and frown as if unhappy with my reaction. Well sorry lizard-boy. I was in no mood to tangle with his shiny new personality. Not without a solid drink first.

There was so much to talk about. How he’d ended up on that bridge alone. How we had both bled but I stood unscarred. How he’d found the balls to move past the fraternization to all out sexual advances. But all those answers would have to wait.

I needed to rally.

So I left him frowning after me as I stalked straight for the bar and opening up my next mission on my omni tool. It would be easier to compartmentalize as I killed something.

It was just as well the alcohol would sift out through my cybernetic implants. A soldier who looked like Barbie and couldn’t get drunk.

There was no justice in this world.

*

Into the plague. This was perfect for the way I was feeling. I got to kill Vorcha, some Varren thrown into the mix. Kicking the face of a stealing merc was definitely a bonus. If Miranda and Jacob saw the lethal, unbending fury of my charge through the slums of Omega, they did not comment. Wise of them.

The list of Garrus’ misdemeanors The Illusive Man had laid out now rang like a bad rock song in my head. They repeated over and over. Slaver. Murderer. Smuggler. Pirate. I wanted to reach back into history or possibly inside Garrus’ carapace and pull out the one companion who had been my rock through it all.

“Shepard.”

I belatedly realized my boot was still jammed against the face of the whimpering merc who’d opened a safe. “Damn,” I muttered sardonically and stepped away watching the two scared men shuffling away. “And the Illusive Man was looking so sweet screaming under my boot.”

“Seriously Shepard, what is wrong with you?”

I glared at Jacob over my shoulder. “A girl can daydream, can’t she?”

“In the middle of a rescue?!”

I sighed and picked up my gun. “Fine. Let’s go party-pooper.”

I didn’t know who had been mentally squishing with my foot. Garrus or the Illusive Scumbag, but one thing was painfully clear. I had a lot of shit to work out in my head. So when Jeff’s voice crackled uncomfortably in my ear, I picked up the Varren bounding straight for me with his jaw open and his tongue dripping and biotic-slammed him into the wall. “What the hell was that mumbling Joker?”

“Ah…see here’s the thing. We tried to stop him, but you know how Krogan can be.”

“We don’t _have_ Krogan on the Normandy.”

“Oh he _looks_ like a Turian, but don’t be fooled.” Although Joker was true to his moniker, there was underlying discomfort to what he was relaying.

Squeezing my eyes shut, I ducked beside a pillar as a new set of mercenaries opened fire on us from across the terrace. I prayed for patience. “Where is he?”

“Headed your way. Probably at the clinic now.”

“Tough son of a bitch,” Jacob muttered, a touch of awe and respect in his voice. “Didn’t think he’d be up so soon.” I gave him a deadpan eyebrow. How could anyone be so un-jaded in this damned war, I would never know. Suddenly he reminded me of Alenko and all I wanted to do was never be reminded of the ‘old times’ ever again.

Scowling, I touched my com. “Joker, did you tell him we’re in the middle of a quarantine zone with a deadly virus especially designed to take out Turians?”

“Yup.”

Rubbing the heel of my head against the brow exposed from beneath my helmet I took a fortifying breath. “Fine. If he’s alive when I find him, I’ll kill him.” Pulling out my rifle, I met Miranda and Jacob’s weary eyes. “Time to go kiddies. Let’s work fast.”

“Shepard, we can’t just go barreling…” Miranda’s censuring tirade drowned out as I broke cover and sprinted towards the stairs, my guns already raining bullets everywhere. There would be bruises and there would be blood. Maybe that would finally make this body feel like my own.

The two Cerberus officers were used to my rampages now. It wasn’t that I thought I was infallible, I was just using all my arsenal to my arsenal to my advantage. And suddenly I felt like a hypocrite when I came down on Garrus.

Oh how damaged we mortals be, Ash whispered wickedly in my ear.

When I turned into the room that housed Mordin’ lab in the back of his clinic, I froze.

Mordin was crouched down beside the kneeling form of one Archangel while he heaved blue blood on the floor before him. By now Miranda had begun to recognize my intend and she spoke my name with warning as I walked forward and kicked the coughing Turian in his side.

Garrus yowled and clutched the side of his armor where my booted foot had connected with his ribs; another wave of coughing and groaning followed.

“Inappropriate! Kicking a man when he’s down,” Mordin sputtered and rose, the hypodermic empty which mean that he’d already administered whatever cure he had to.

For a moment the Salarian looked like he would hit me, but he paused when the ‘man’ in question started to chuckle, lifting pain-laced blue eyes to me. “Nice to see you too sweetheart.”

This would be my status-quo with him now. Kiss or kill. I wanted to do both with a vehemence that was completely psychotic. I vibrated with the indecision before fisting my hands and leashing my need. “Pity. I was hoping I’d find your idiot corpse on a pike! And don’t call me sweetheart.”

Rising to his full-height he smirked and leaned against a nearby table, arms still wrapped around his bruised ribs. Bruised my ass. His armor had taken most of my fury. Mordin looked between us and something seemed to click in his brain as he sighed. “Pheromones. I see. Perhaps reassuring to say Turian physiology resilient. Cure administered. But might I suggest some research before future sexual interaction? Must warn against chaffing.”

If the world had ended right then, I would have gone down happily.

Garrus doubled over guffawing like a baboon and Miranda and Jacob went into stupefied silence. I, on the other hand, wanted the ground to open and swallow me whole.

The heat of my mortification was scalding as I suppressed the need to throttle the Salarian. “Professor, how would you like to wear my lovely new shoes?”

The Salarian blinked at me before glancing at my two gawking team members. “Possible mercenary, human. No. Too well armed. Have to be Cerberus. Alluding to possible exchange of shoes, unclear. Human idiom?”

My smile was saccharine but Garrus walked over and put a hand on Mordin’s shoulder with a chuckle. “My friend, I think she means to put her boot in your ass.”

The Salarian blinked startled, those big black eyes flickering before. “Ah!....Hmmm. Yes, I see the hint of sarcasm and escalating pulse. Why is the human female angry with me?”

Garrus’ lascivious smirk only managed to incense me more as I tried to glare him into a toad. “I think the human female is embarrassed that she might actually want a big bad Turian.”

“God, we have a district to disinfect. Can we please focus?” Miranda moaned painfully and I could totally see the lovely face-palm.

“Go away Vakarian,” I grated out before meeting Mordin’s curious and amused gaze. “Professor Solus. I am Commander Shepard. I’m here to help.”

I tried my best to go back to my business solider mode, but Garrus’ taunting grins set my nerves on edge. I knew the sooner we got through his mission the sooner I could sit him down and figure out why I was the focus of all his lecherous puns. Why did he so delight in throwing me off-balance and where was the guy who could calm me, temper me and sooth me with just his words and presence?

I didn’t like this constant itch.

The ventilation system had to be secured. Miranda and Jacob were losing patience with my constant distraction and Garrus came along. I had initially wanted him to either return to the Normandy or go back to whatever hole he’d crawled back from, but for once he didn’t smirk at me as he said: “Sorry Shepard. I’m staying on your six.”

Why it had to be an apology I did not know. As it were, Jacob snarled and cursed all the way back to the ship as Garrus and Miranda went with me to complete Mordin’s request.

I would find out much later that getting Garrus to leave me six, would be near impossible.

Karen Chakwas was talking. Well, she was screaming, but I had drowned her out. Though my cybernetics had pretty much healed all the lovely new scrapes and bruises, the very large gash down my side would need stitches. Miranda stood in the doorway fuming. I sat there on the bio-bed, my right arm up over my head as the good doctor went ahead with her careful sewing. She wanted to give me sedatives, but I’d thrown back the painkillers and told her to hurry up.

I met Miranda’s dark eyes over Karen’s silver head and sighed. “I’m sorry Karen, I will try to be careful next time.”

My friend, my favorite doctor huffed and grumped but she slapped the bandage on me with as much finesse as she could muster in her angry, perpetually concerned way. Poor Karen. She really did care about me. I realized how hard it was to patch me up after every mission. I did seem to bruise a lot.

“Could you give us a minute Dr. Chakwas?” Miranda’s request would have been lovely and polite if she didn’t level those luminescent eyes at me murderously.

Karen grumbled about all her hard work down the drain and how she would really need to find a way to seal my demon red scars. But she left the med bay and headed straight for the bar. I gazed longingly after her.

“Eyes on me Commander.”

I winced as my arm rotated down, a line of fire down my side despite all the painkillers that pumped through my system. “You know it was bad enough that I can’t drink myself into a stupor, but now the painkillers don’t numb anything either. Thank you Miranda.”

“If I had put that control chip in your head like I wanted, perhaps we wouldn’t need the alcohol or painkillers.” She bore down on me, her teeth nearly taking a bite out of my face.

Leaning back, I stared at the beautiful woman’s ability to make everything cow in her presence. “Um…sorry?”

“Are you?” A muscle worked in her jaw before she pulled away to press her hand to her throbbing temple. Suddenly she looked just like me when I was facing off with Garrus. I almost felt bad for her. “Shepard. You are not invulnerable. Are you trying to ‘off’ yourself? Is that it? Is this constant need to rush into danger and disregard all preparation and strategy a suicidal urge we missed in your psyche profile? What is going on with you?”

Looking away, I stubbornly hardened my jaw for a second.

“You must speak with someone.”

“I will.”

“Who?”

Grinding my teeth, I was unhappy with how only one name came to the forefront.

The woman sighed. “Fine. Don’t talk to me. Talk to him.” I blinked at her startled. “Please, anyone in the same room can tell there’s something brewing between you and The Archangel. The sooner you deal with it, the sooner we can get over the nausea of watching you two flirt like a bunch of horny teenagers.”

My mouth dropped open. “I swear I have no idea why people keep saying that!”

“Then you’re an idiot!” The usually eloquent woman snapped. “Kindly get your head out of your arse. Kaiden may have been your distraction, but Mordin is right. Whatever this new thing is between you and Vakarian, sort it! Or so help me Commander I will handle it my own way.” With that last warning, she turned and stalked out of the bed bay.

I was so damned curious what her way was. It couldn’t be anything good. And maybe my new renegade side did grate on her nerves. Garrus’ certainly grated on mine. I winced when I realized how reckless I had been. These were after all my crew. They were my responsibility. If I went vaulting into the fire, they would burn right beside me. Even if I had tried to draw all the fire to myself.

But the truth was I had thought things would go a certain way. Even after Liara and Tali’s refusal to join me again, I thought I would find Garrus, he would make some awkward comment here maybe a sheepish smile there – and things would seem normal. Like old times.

But it wasn’t. Nothing was the same.

The sooner I accepted that, the sooner it would resolve itself.

Pulling my t-shirt down I slowly slid off the bed.

Oh yeah. I would feel this for a while.

“Edi, where’s Garrus?”

“Mr. Vakarian is presently consuming a pink sparkly beverage with Dr. Chakwas in Port Observation.”

My eyes squeezed shut as I took a fortifying breath. Now or never.

Moving past my crew, I nodded and smiled at the appropriate ones before walking through the swishing door and spotting my query. Karen and Garrus were laughing about something when I walked in. Karen immediately turned a little red and Garrus fixed me with the usual cocky smirk that he seemed to have perpetually plastered on. “Having fun?”

Karen finished her drink and smiled. “Catching up.”

“Really? He hasn’t tried to get into your pants yet?” I crossed my arms and fixed my sardonic gaze on the Turian who only lifted a brow plate.

Poor Karen sputtered and flushed and pleaded deniability before rushing out of the observation deck.

When the door slid shut, Garrus swiveled his stool around, his elbows propped on the counter behind him as he proceeded to watch me. “That wasn’t very nice.”

“I left my nice in my other pants.” He didn’t even flinch as I came to stand before him. “Let’s hear it Vakarian. What’s got _your_ panties in a bunch?”

“Can’t seem to get my panties out of your mind, eh Commander?” I bit down on the need to retreat as he leaned forward, his elbows now resting on his knees, his face nearly level with my breasts and I saw the way he let those blue eyes sweep over me.

“Stop.”

His gaze snapped up to me at the growl, a flicker of doubt before it was replaced with the usual mask. “What exactly did I do?”

“Stop the ogling, the baiting and the flirting.” I finally took the step away and glared at him. “You will not distract me with the dripping sex voice.We’re going to talk about this Garrus.”

He was suddenly off the stool and stalking towards me like the predator he was, my feet instinctively carrying me backwards until I hit the port window with a gasp. I watched with growing trepidation as the very sexy Turian morphed into a very dark, scary Turian. Those affable lines of his plates turned to a razor’s edge, his eyes filled with bodies and blood as his hands smacked against the glass on either sides of my head. It was a warning, a dominant display of a much larger, alien species that could rip me to shreds.

“Garrus?” My voice shook for a second when I felt an actual sliver of fear skate down my spine.

“Talk?” The blue markings on his face were bright against his almost grey plates, his mandibles flared as the jaw with the sharp teeth widened. “You think you get to waltz back into my life and pretend you still get to order me around? After two years, you think you can go back to the way we were!? Nothing will EVER be the same!”

My mouth parted in shock. Any anger I might have felt for his change in behavior, of how things had changed him, doused in the flames of his fury. “Excuse me? I happened to be dead!”

“And yet here you are.”

And there it was. Miranda’s vile little perfect voice telling me ‘I told you so.’ It felt like Horizon all over again, but not. Garrus might be angry at me for appearing out of nowhere, but there was no judgement in him. Just the finely honed fury of how much my absence had changed him. Changed everything. Maybe that was exactly what I had been doing. Judging everyone on how they should be. Had been. Maybe Kaiden was right to walk away.

“Slaver, murderer, pirate?” I whispered gently. “There’s a bounty on your head. And yet, here you are.”

A muscle worked in his jaw, his mandibles snapping tightly against his face, the bandage almost seething with new blood.

“You’re right. Nothing will ever be the same.” The heat of him was almost too hot to ignore, but I battled down whatever this new awareness was around him. “Cerberus built me from a sack of flesh and bones.” Leaning my head back, I closed my eyes, let him corner me there for a moment although I could have shoved him away. Reasserted myself. But I was also so very tired. “I woke up to the sound of explosions and gunfire. I haven’t had a moment to assimilate. I don’t…have my own skin…my own hair.” My voice cracked. “My body isn’t like I remembered it. I don’t even know which is flesh and which is machine!” The liquid pain of my new existence sharpened into anger as I opened my eyes and glared at him. I found his face a stone mask, his eyes dull almost disbelieving what I was telling him. Like it didn’t matter. “I feel nothing of myself and when I started looking for my crew, Cerberus said none of you would want to come back – and I! Like an idiot I told him oh no illusive sir, my crew will jump at the chance to be by my side. And guess what!” I shoved him away. Hard enough that he went staggering back a few feet, a flash of true surprise on his face. “NO ONE came back!

You talk of being abandoned! I suffocated to dead over Alchera while the Normandy turned to ball of fire! I did not WANT to come back! I do not WANT to be here now! It was finally over! I had lived my nightmare, saved the world. I deserved the rest!” I snarled and took a step closer to him, his blue eyes finally wild and believing. I pushed him again and he hit the bulkhead with a grunt.

“Shepard…”

“And you know the worst of it? All I wanted was to sit with one of you. Talk. But Liara’s the goddamn Shadow Broker now.” Garrus’ eyes widened but I was too busy ploughing on. “Tali is too busy fighting a black sun over Haestrom. Wrex a presiding Chieftain over clan Urdnot! And you!” I laughed a wet, sad, little laugh. “You kissed me like a cheap little thrill.”

“Jane,” he whispered and it was the unbelievable pain and adoration behind my name that made me look up startled to find him bearing down on me with everything his pirate mask kept hidden. “I am back. Can’t you tell, yet?” When his hands came to cup my cheeks, his nose brushing with mine, my breath halted in my chest. Eyes wide as he huddled me closer. “Whoever we are now, I am on your six. Always. And I kissed you because I have missed you like I miss breath. There was nothing cheap about it. I’ve wanted to kiss you since you started talking about farting Quarians and I would have, if Wrex hadn’t decided to kick my ass.”

His eyes were closed and I swallowed hard, his breath setting my lips of fire. “You said…”

There was a hard quick kiss against my mouth again and then his talons were skating down my shoulders, over the length of my arms, burning a tingling trail across everything they passed. “I spent two years telling myself you weren’t really dead. That they couldn’t really take you away from me. And then you proved me right by sauntering up that bridge like a Valkyrie when I was so damned sure I would die there. I…have been a bitter, hard Turian Jane. I have made…bad decisions. But when you bled on that floor beside me, I decided this time, I’d tell you how I feel even if you kicked my ass for it later. And I may be a pirate. But I’m not a murderer, a slaver, or a smuggler.”

When he opened his eyes, my breath hitched in my chest. There you are, my insides sang. “Garrus, I don’t understand…”

“Let me stay with you,” he pleaded gruffly, his arms wrapping around me. “I’m a better Turian when I’m with you.”

I gaped up at him. “Did you seriosuly just use that line on me from Fleet and the Flotilla??”

“You did subject me through the torture of watching it three times.”

“You said you LIKED it!”

“I would have said anything to get into your pants.”

My deathglare only made him laugh.

“Truth then: I love you Jane.” His mouth quirked into a vicious little grin, lopsided and roguish. I lost my breath. Damn sexy, big, bad Turian. “Let me join your crew?”

“Garrus!”

With a chuckle, he ran the talon of his thumb carefully across my bottom lip turning my knees to jelly. “I’m the Archangel. I’ve got enough people gunning for my ass without the added bonus of the bounty. Yeah. I’ve been a pirate. Sometimes its easier to get things done when people expect the worst of you.”

“But Archangel?”

“It’s just a name they gave me for helping. But I come with a network of pirates and a stash of provisions both tactical and strategic. Cerberus approached me before and I always ignored them, because hey.” I flushed when I remembered all we’d seen on Cerberus before this. “But if you’re with them, I can make exceptions.”

“Means to an end.” This shiny new Garrus wasn’t the Turian I had left on the Citadel to become a Specter. But deep down, he was still the same Turian who had my six. And I realized he still had it. Lascivious intent or otherwise. I lifted my gaze up to him and frowned. “When did you decide you wanted into my pants?”

“Since always Shepard,” he purred and took a step forward leading me back to press against the glass. This time, I wasn’t afraid. This time my gasp was one of pleasure as he fit all those hard angles against the soft curves of my new self. We were different people, but we were still Shepard and Vakarian. “You had your head too far up Alenko’s ass to notice.” His tongue slid out and it was completely alien the way he licked me from clavicle to earlobe. But shit! My reaction was very familiar. With a shudder, I let my head drop against the glass, my mouth opening on a soundless gasp. “Now sweetheart, I can scent how much you want me. And no matter what you say about this new you. I like how I effect you.”

I swallowed hard and let my hands trail up his armored chest, slowly venturing up to the rough hide of his neck. Saw the way his eyes became darker, his jaw widening as he inhaled my scent. “This is so much more than fraternizing Vakarian. What will your father say?”

His nose buried into the crook of my neck as he slid one hand up onto the glass so he could add a delicious little friction to the rock of his hips, his other hand cupping a breast. “You’re talking to a pirate sweetheart, do you think I care?”

“Jezuz Vakarian, where did you learn how to do that?” I shivered as every nerve ending caught fire, my hands working into the seals of his armor. But I restrained myself before I actually opened one.

“I’ve learned a great many things Shepard, would you like to see?” His hand flowed down the breast and very carefully slid between the juncture of my thighs.

With a soft cry of pleasure, I caught his wrist, my eyes opening into his with hunger. “I think,” I spoke huskily, shakily, “we should take this to my cabin.”

A cocky brow plate lifted. “You have a cabin?”

“Cerberus has it’s uses. You should hear Jeff wax lyrical about his leather seats.”

The gorgeous Turian dragged his teeth across my shoulder and the nerves that had tightened before burst free with near orgasmic bliss. “Do you have a shower?”

I trembled but managed to breathe out a hoarse, “yes.”

“Can you walk?” The pirate purred arrogantly.

I wanted to hit him. I was Commander Fucking Shepard, but now Garrus was the Archangel. This new dynamic would be interesting. “Maybe if you hold my hand?” I fluttered my lashes mockingly.

He laughed, low and hungry. “You’ve had a rough day baby, I’ll hold everything. No one’s going to care.” When he bent down and scooped me up in his arms, I buried my face into his neck, kissing and nuzzling what I could. Today I could give a little. And it was something amazing being carried by this creature’s prowess. I lamented on all the wasted months on the old Normandy. But perhaps we both had to be a little less before we could be a little more. I turned renegade and he was a pirate. Maybe together we could find an in-between so Miranda wouldn’t have a heart attack.

I let him feel my teeth and smirked with his steps faltered.

A growl reverberated through his chest and shook me down to my suddenly drenched core. “Watch yourself human.”

He stepped out into the crew quarters and I made an elaborate play on how I was weak and tired in his arms, my head platonically resting on his big armored shoulder. “Walk faster Turian,” I teased.

“Garrus,” Karen looked up from where she was walking out of the women’s lavatory. “Is she okay?”

“We talked. She’s a little tired.”

The older woman nodded sympathetically and called the elevator. “Talking sounded a lot like screaming. She’s been wound so tight, I was worried I’d have to forcefully sedate her so she can get some rest. It’s good to have you here Garrus.”

“Don’t worry Karen, I will help her relieve any tension she carries,” the Turian’s frame shook with laughter and I smacked the back of his head discretely. “Awo!”

Dr. Chakwas blinked. “Are you okay?”

“Ahem. Yes. Perhaps I am a little weary too.”

“You did take a rocket to your face Garrus.” Karen shook her head. “It’s a good thing her shields held up, or you could have lost a good chunk of your mandible. But she wouldn’t leave your side none the less.”

I felt the Turian squeeze me closer and I had to bit my tongue to keep from smiling.

The woman smiled widely. “Take care of her.”

“Oh I intend to.”

When the elevator slipped closed I bit him.

The Normandy probably heard his snarl.

THE END


End file.
